Neuer Gedankengang!

I don't do windows -

And on an evening like this when the sun is low in the sky and shining brightly against my library window, it really shows! Part of what catches the sun's glare is dirt on the glass and the screen, and part of it is the screen itself. But part of it, the brightest part right now, is scotch tape!

The thing is, there was a hole in the screen. One evening when the weather was cool enough that I could open the house up instead of running the AC, I noticed how many June bugs had gotten in through that hole and met their demise trapped between the glass and the screen. I got out the vacuum and got rid of them, and then taped up the hole. Immediately I was aware of what I believe is a strong spiritual lesson.

I sit here at the computer with that window and the roadway that it frames as my view. As I work, I look up from time to time and watch a car go by, or maybe a deer or some dogs. I watch the hummingbirds on the crepe myrtle bush, and neighbors in their comings and goings. It helps me think. But once I put tape on the screen, the view down the road receded, and all I could see was the tape! It was almost hypnotic!

Right now the tape is catching the sunlight and glaring at me, which makes it worse. But even when that isn't the case, I have to concentrate to raise my view beyond it. And then I think of all the times that I am so focused on some flaw or irritation, some perceived problem, some task that I don't want to do, that I can't see past it to the bigger picture, to catch a vision of what lies down the road.

Now I know some would remind me, and rightly so, that if I fixed the screen properly or even replaced it, instead of patching it with tape, I might not have that problem. Like I said, though, I don't do windows. But I do look for lessons to be learned even from a dirty window and a patched screen.

The irritants that are up close and threaten to distract me right now are things like filling out forms, filing insurance claims, paying bills, doing my own laundry (thank you, dear David, for all the years you did those things for me!), stuff like that. I can easily get overwhelmed and discouraged and see nothing but the long list of things to be done.

The bigger picture means enjoying the moments, staying in touch with family and friends, and taking positive steps toward reaching my goals. Today it meant going to a meeting of the Coleman Creek Greenway Committee, and then tonight working on transcribing the German letters I hope to get published. The payoff, the view down the road? Perhaps a research grant, perhaps a chance to have significant input on a project that will benefit both UALR and the community surrounding the campus.

It's not a choice between one or the other, it's keeping a balance between the two. Tonight I get to spend time looking through the immigrant letters to find the part that deals with the Indian Removal. And tomorrow night I have to return to the forms and bills again. If I let them stack up too long, they distract me, like the scotch tape on the screen, and block my view of what the future can hold.

posted by Shirley Schuette @ 7:03 PM