Neuer Gedankengang!

A White Christmas?

I'm in Madison, Wisconsin with niece Jennifer and her husband Paul and their two kids, 3 year old Lila and 1 year old Sylvia. There will be a white Christmas here, because there is LOTS of snow on the ground. But I am leaving on Sunday, the 23rd, and going to my mother's down near St. Louis. They have had snow, but a lot of it has melted, so I don't know if there will be snow on Christmas.

I thought I would bring some back as a souvenir for my friends in Arkansas. We have had so little the last few years that we almost forget what it's like. But Lila told me that wouldn't work! Sorry, folks!

I am very much enjoying playing with Lila and Sylvia. They are smart and full of energy and interesting. Lila loves to tell stories. I told her this morning that someday she could write those stories down for other kids to read. And Sylvia will do what Sylvia wants to do! Her determination and her creativity definitely show even though she is only 14 months old.

From the day I started this trip, on Tuesday, I was excited about traveling by train and seeing people - my friend Linda in Chicago, this family here, and later all the crew at Christmas in Illinois. At the same time I knew I was sad, and it took me a little to figure out why, although it should have been obvious. I am visiting people I haven't seen since David's funeral.

This is a trip that David and I would have enjoyed making together, and while I'm grateful for the opportunity to make the trip, I so miss sharing it with him and watching him enjoy it! I think I understand the cliched TV and movie scene where the character goes to the grave of their loved one and tells them what has been going on!

Being here and playing with the kids also makes me think of how much fun it would be to share this Christmas with Chris and Catherine and my own grandbaby, Lily Piper O'Brien! I hope Chris and Catherine will send lots of pictures or put them up on their Facebook pages for me to see. (Yes, I have a Facebook page, so if you have one, check it out, and maybe we can connect.)

I want to acknowledge the sadness and the reasons for it and allow myself to feel it and express it, but I don't want it to overwhelm me and keep me from enjoying the gift of today. Maybe we will go sledding this afternoon!

Right now I need to get dressed and join the family again - I think there will be a Christmas breakfast of cinnamon rolls, and then the family gift exchange here. I don't want to miss that!

posted by Shirley Schuette @ 9:12 AM