It only took me six months!
I spent my first night in this apartment on July 13, and today is January 12. After only six months, today I met and talked to someone from the other building! At that rate, it will only take another two years or so to get to know all of my neighbors.
There are two buildings here, with four apartments each, two up and two down. We all share the yard and laundry room, and each building has its own carport. I am on the top floor of the building closest to the driveway. From my dining table, I often watch people come and go.
I came in knowing my next door neighbor because we work together. She was the one who told me the apartment was available. But we are both somewhat introverted, so we talk more at work than we do at home. I have gotten to know the nice man who lives below me and who built the wonderful patio on the back of our building. He has three small dogs who are always excited to see me.
Today is my first full day here since December 1, and I am determined to get all of my laundry done. Given that I have to carry my stuff downstairs and outside, I considered buying a portable washer and dryer. On the pro side, I would probably get my laundry done more often. On the con side, however, there's the cost of the machines and the extra cost of electricity, water and gas to heat the water, not to mention the exercise I wouldn't get by going up and down the stairs! And now I see that, also the con side, doing my laundry in my apartment would be one more reason to stay holed up here and not meet my neighbors! Not a good thing for me!
Right now the contents of a box from Wal Mart are spread out on my living room floor, but hopefully by the end of the weekend, they will have been transformed into a small work desk. With that addition, my living room/dining room/office will be complete (and in fact full!) as far as furniture goes. Although I hung a few pictures, several walls are still empty, but I'll get to that. And I have more to do on storing things and finalizing the furniture arrangement in my bedroom.
I am making progress. The more I do, the more it feels like home. Talking to my neighbors today was a step forward.
Happy New Year, Y'all!
I climbed Pinnacle Mountain today. It's cold and windy, and I'm 61 and more overweight than when I used to do this with relative ease as a commitment to a year of - what was I committing to? That I could do things that seemed overwhelming and impossible, that I was stronger than I thought I was, that giving in to the fear of doing new things would lead to a life of isolation and depression.
Since I've been by myself, I've had a taste again of the isolation and depression that used to be common in my life. Sometimes I barely have energy enough to get out of this corner where my computer sits and out of the apartment. It's a spiritual battle, and getting out to Pinnacle today was a spiritual battle.
In the days leading up to today, there was one voice that said, that I've had a wild and fun ride the last 15 or so years, traveling, getting college degrees, climbing mountains, but "at my age" I should get back to reality and quit trying to be what I'm not. And on the other side was this little tiny, scared voice that said, "you have to try. Just take one step at a time and do the best you can. It IS your choice whether to settle into this corner of your apartment or to keep living life out there!"
So, I dressed warmly in layers, took two bottles of water, a notebook and my cellphone, and headed out to Pinnacle.
And I made it to the top! I wasn't sure I'd be able to climb the stairs to my apartment when I got home, but I did!
Part way up the mountain, I realized that there was another issue surrounding this whole experience for me this year.
I don't remember what I did on New Year's last year - maybe I walked Cow Patty Trail! But I do remember what I did two years ago. In fact, I have a wonderful picture to remind me.
I walked a trail along the river in Burns Park with Dominik, while David rode his bike on the bike trail nearby. And I talked to David that day about the idea that the following year, he and I could both be ready to climb Pinnacle, and we could do it together. He wasn't ready to say that he would ever be able to do that, but I was confident it would happen, and I was really looking forward to it. And of course it didn't happen - and today on the side of the mountain, I realized that I was pissed about that! Realizing that was no doubt an important step for me.
Okay, I took a lot of pictures with my phone while I made the climb - I'm amazed at how well they turned out. Here is a link to them:
http://picasaweb.google.com/Avillapictures/PinnacleToTheTopAndBackDown
There were several other things that were special and encouraging - the nice Hispanic man who saw me taking the picture of the 8 sign and said encouraging words I didn't understand (he pointed to his eyes, so I think he was saying I could see the top), then said "two more!" (he later gave me a thumbs up when he saw me at the top), the choir praising God on the top of the mountain, the French couple starting up over the rock field as I was coming down who answered my rude question and told me that she was 67 and he was 75 (my new goal!), numerous people who asked me if I was okay or encouraged me or offered advice, the nice young man who asked if I'd made it all the way to the top and congratulated me when I told him I had, and of course, Dominik who answered his cell phone all afternoon phone and encouraged me and congratulated me and was ready to call out the rescue helicopter if I had needed it!
An important day!
